76 - Tip Tuesday - Learn How to Give Fear the Boot with Jodi Aman
Becoming an entrepreneur can be one of the most stressful times in your life. There's uncertainty, added stress, and a multitude of problems that you've never had to deal with before. Yes, the rewards are coming, but there's a bit of an uphill climb until you get there. Most of us end up feeling alone in this journey, but when you're starting to hear the doubts and starting to feel a little crazy, you're really feeling what everyone else feels. Jodi Aman of Give Fear the Boot breaks down the signs, and what we can do to handle the anxiety as it comes.
Fear can be a funny thing as many of us don't recognize it, but it really is holding most of us back. Everyone is so afraid to be egotistical that they don't trust themselves, and shame really is the ego that's holding you back.
There's always someone feeling this way. You can call it different words, fear anxiety, but it's such an invisible thing. However, everyone is walking around with it. 'Everyone is walking around trying to be okay.' So everyone looks at everyone else and thinks they are the only one suffering from it.
How do you start to get over yourself and realize your fears are truly holding you back and you're suffering? If you feel heavy or down or nervous or any of those things. All of those things that there are some heaviness going on and are some barriers to living your dreams and reaching your potential. Anytime you're in victim mentality or bummed that things aren't working out, or telling yourself you're not ready, etc. These are all signs to telling yourself you're in fear.
What's normal of feeling down or normal expectations versus true fear? It's really about what you're going to spend your energy on. The people who are big [successful] aren't rational. When you start getting into the rational thoughts, and the risks seem to risky, you're letting fear control you. The successful are the ones who don't analyze risk and hold it back. It's all about the meaning you make around the feeling you have. It either makes you go really big or it holds you back. It's important to always operate like you're not going to fail.
If you are the person feeling swept up in the bad self talk, how do you take steps to get out of this and move forward? It's all about retraining the brain. There is some discipline and it's all about practice. You set the intention that you want to focus your energy of getting things done and the positive and the possibilities versus the fear and the risk. Once you decide you're going to concentrate on going for your goal, then you can just work on that. 'We judge ourselves so much, and then we attach it to the emotion.' When the worry comes, know it will be there, but just make it light, and set it aside.
How do you get over a blow that comes from left field? It's still about practicing. If you have compassion and no judgement, it is easy. However, we're just so programmed to judge ourselves. If you're going to go for big, you have to get thicker skin. Most of them really don't have to deal with you. You just have to know that people will criticize over something they're not happy within themselves. If you have compassion and no judgement, you're allowing yourself to feel a feeling, and then you can let it go. What the problem is, is you start letting yourself get upset for feeling the feelings instead of feeling them and letting it go.
It's all about having self compassion, which means you're not judging. Self compassion is also an understanding and a validation of yourself.
There is something isolating about being a leader because you can be attacked like that. However, your fan base will also support you too. You also need to be connected to a lot of support. Who are you going to call when you read that critique. When we get in business, you really surround yourself with a great support system. There are people on your side and psyched to see you succeeding.
What do you recommend for the first time meditator? Meditation is really about a practice. Even if you can start with five minutes and focus on the breath, even if you're distracted, you can bring yourself back to the breath. That's a start. You are doing it, you're still getting the benefits. That way you can realize every time you're distracted, you bring yourself back to the breath. It's all about brining awareness in and controlling your mind. When you decide to let go of something, you have to set the intention, and then let it go. Just know it's going to come back.
You can find Jodi - JodiAman.com. She's also running an online recovery program to learn how to get over your fears. GiveFeartheBoot.com
More About Jodi: Jodi Aman, creator of Give Fear the Boot!, helps people who struggle with anxiety overcome their fears and live a life of vitality. She's an anxiety tamer, forgiveness counselor, relationship coach, guilt releaser, unconditional lover, hope renewer and your greatest fan! Get daily inspiration on Facebook at http://facebook.com/jodiamanlove, follower her on Twitter @JodiAman and watch her on her YouTube Channel!
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